I have reached my breaking point.
Everyone has their breaking point and let me tell you this is it. In the past two years I have experienced so many blessings and karma in my life. There are things that I wished never changed but at times you can’t help what happens.
What I am truly grateful is for my mother’s health. She is getting to the age where her health is vulnerable. But still she shows great strength through all the bad things that encounters my brothers and I. I pray that she will be with us for the next fifty years because that is where my brothers and I get our strength from.
It might be the stress from finals this week but I just feel exhausted. Some other factors could be that I work full time with two different jobs. I used to love driving but now its become burden. I am President of one amazing club at CSULB and its definitely a full time position. We all must not forget about being a daughter and sister to a loving family; its not just a title but a relationship that is built through time.
Twenty-four hours in a day is never enough for me. Sometimes I would wake up super early to go to work in Rosemead (25 minutes away from my house), than after drive to school (40 minutes away) for classes, and end my night with a closing shift in cerritos. By the time I get home my family is already asleep. The following day I would sleep in before class and not to my surprise my family has already left for their busy schedule day.
It makes me sad that I don’t have time for them and vise versa but I know everything I’m doing is for the better.
I just wish “for the better” came now.
Being an adult sucks. Being responsible sucks. But you just need to realize sooner or later to suck it up and deal with it.
To sum it all up I just want to apologize to those I have not been giving my full attention to. I will admit that I can not juggle everything like I used to, but I do not want anyone to feel neglected. However, I have to be honest and say that my mindset is not the same as it use to be, my patience has been cut in half, and I do not sugar coating anything anymore. If honesty is not what you’re looking for than I’m not the person you should be turning to.
Right now I have my priorities straight and right now I just need a breather from the gossip, rumors, and “rachetness”. I’m doing what every college students should be doing and that’s focusing on school (instead of tumblring at 5am haha).
Education will make a difference on your future, so take advantage of it now.
Memo to self “This is for mom!”
There is so much I want to do to repay and thank you for always being the mother that I was lucky enough to have. I never knew how much you sacrificed in life for my brothers and I to be where we are today. All the little things you tell me and remind me each day have been taken into action everyday. I never want to make you shed a tear in disappointment or fear.
I want to apologize to you for making wrong decisions in the past; such as driving late at night and getting into a car accident. I remember opening my eyes and seeing your eyes drown in tears just made my heart bleed. I apologize for making you feel as though you might have lost me for a second. I want to apologize for putting friends before you at times when I know in the end you will always be there for me. I want to apologize for ignoring you when I’m stressed out at school and just need some alone time. I want to apologize to you for coming home late at times without letting you know and having you fall asleep on the coach as you wait for me. I want to apologize for all the lies I have said told you in the past because I wanted to go out and party.
Though I put you through all that and more, you still stood by my side. I finally understood why you did what you did. At first I thought you fell for my lies but you knew deep down I was doing something that I did not tell you. You wanted me to learn from my mistake and live with the consequences. It took me years but now I realized it.
All mother’s out there are not naive they are wittier than you think. When they yell at you it’s because of their mother’s tuition and she doesn’t want you to get hurt. Mom’s gave birth to you, she have experienced your first pain in life, and will continue to protect you no matter where she or you are in life.
I just wanted to thank you mom for teaching me to be respectful towards others, for helping me financially through high school, for reminding me why I should be grateful for everything in life, for showing me that sacrifices will have to be made in life, for tickling me until I laugh with tears and yell mercy, for never making fun of my height or weight, for supporting me in everything I do in life, for being proud of me even if I bring home a bad grade, for not once doubting my ability to do activities out of my norm, and for loving me unconditionally even though at times you wish I had made better decision.
Mom you deserve the truth and only the truth; that’s why the past six months we have been building a stronger relationship than ever, I wouldn’t want to break it for anything or anyone. No one is worth lying to you anymore, they are only worth being mentioned to you.
Everything I do now is for my future and yours. I promise I will never put you in a retirement home, I will give you everything that you never had, I will you put first, I will take you to Vietnam (and other countries), and most of all I will never stop loving you because not once did you stop loving me.
Lastly I just wanted to thank you for not being a “cool best-mom-friend” that lets me get away with idiotic decisions.
Thank you for being a mom; my mom.
Con Yêu Mẹ forever and always to infinity and beyond <3
Happy Mother’s Day Mommy Nguyen!
"Everything in life will fall apart. But family, that’s permanent"
All she needs to do is look straight into my eyes and know exactly what to say to get me through the rest of the day.
Starts in less than 30 minutes and I just wanted to let you guys know I have full faith in all of you. You can do this and next Saturday when all of us share that stage it will be the most emotional yet best feeling you’ll ever have!
No matter how stressful you get, I am always here to listen to anyone. So keep your head up high and remember to prioritize!
We all have those days were we sit in front of our computer and remember those days when everything was consider perfect. But looking back now, was it perfect or did I just like that idea that it was perfect when it wasn’t. Of course nothing in life is perfect and everyone/everything has multiple flaws.
I did many things that I am not proud of, and things I do regret. But that’s why no one is able to relive the same day twice because we, including myself, wouldn’t be where we are now.
Of course I miss the good ole days, but I’m loving every single day after it.
I’m grateful to be given an opportunity to be in charge of a play coming up, I’m grateful to have young freshmen/sophomore look up to me as a big sister, I’m grateful to be given the health to dance, I’m grateful to become a supervisor at my work in such a short time, I’m grateful to have fallen in love with a guy that makes me smile everyday, I’m grateful to be given another day to spend it with loved ones and those who have made me who I am today. Change may not be for everyone but I’m stronger as a person because of change and for that I wouldn’t change anything that ever happened to me.